


Lost Within

by Appledoom



Series: Lost Within [1]
Category: RWBY
Genre: Bullying, Dysphoria, F/F, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Non-Explicit Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Blake Belladonna, its not nearly as graphic as the tags imply, whats a canon? dont know her
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:13:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28202154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Appledoom/pseuds/Appledoom
Summary: Blake Belladonna hated her own biology at times, especially when the faunus heat cycle hit in the spring and fall. Now that she was at Beacon she had to figure out how to cope with it alone. But when her plans go south, she needs to learn to trust others with her insecurities while learning how the system benefits huntsmen above others, even when it probably shouldn't.
Relationships: Blake Belladonna/Yang Xiao Long
Series: Lost Within [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2071224
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

Blake hated her heat cycle. Two weeks of absolute torment twice a year. She wished she could make it stop. Her dysphoria was bad enough during most of the year but during her heat it became unbearable. She wasn’t supposed to get the extremely masculine urges to fuck everything in sight; It all felt so wrong to her. When she was in the White Fang there were understanding people who helped her out during these times. After all, everyone was in the same boat during the spring and fall.   
But now she wasn’t in the Fang anymore; she was at Beacon. And as far as anyone knew up until this point she was a cis human woman. That’s what she put on the application and that's how she wanted it to be. The problem was that the fall heat was due to start any day now and Blake had no idea how to get around this. As soon as the hormones started coursing through the bodies of the school's faunus population they would all know about her lies. She really had no solution to this other than hope that people kept their mouths’ shut. What worried her the most after that was her team. 

Though the rest of team RWBY already knew she was a faunus, thus far she hadn't been able to muster the courage to come out to them as a transgender woman. She had done a good job hiding it thus far, and even if she did tell them, they wouldn’t know what that meant in terms of the time of year. None of them knew enough about faunus biology for that.   
She knew she needed a plan in place to keep her teammates safe during this time. Safe from her. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to properly satiate the urges this time. 

What worried her most was the thought of hurting her partner. Although she knew Yang had feelings for her, - feelings that she definitely reciprocated - she just couldn’t put that kind of pressure on her friend. At the very least, not this early in their relationship; if you could even call it that at this point. Were they even more than friends? She wasn’t sure. In the end all that meant was she couldn’t ask Yang to help her. 

Blake had heard of the dangers of attempting to abstain from heat for penis-having faunus from her father. He had warned her of it when she was young, to make sure she knew of the dangers before her cycle started. It was very important, - especially in the context of faunus rights - that they didn’t lose control of the urges. Heat manifested differently for vagina having faunus; they simply became submissive and needy, but would survive going without sex. For faunus with penises like her however, heat required more attention. If ignored they could lose control. Every time there was such an incident, it just cemented the idea that faunus were out of control animals in the minds of humans.   
She couldn’t perpetuate that stereotype.   
She hoped she could make it through at least this cycle ignoring the urges. Hopefully by spring she will be more comfortable asking for help. And besides, Blake hadn’t heard of too many incidents with ignoring heat other than the horror stories her father told her. So maybe it was an old issue, and she herself would be fine.. It’s not like she really had any other choice.

Now, four days into the fall heat and she felt like she was on fire. Saying that it was extremely difficult to focus on school was an understatement. Class had turned into an exercise in self-control. The heat enhanced scents of the other faunus students overwhelmed her. She had to bite her lip to maintain her composure every time anyone so much as shifted. It was the last class of the day and she was extremely grateful for that fact. Blake gave her teammates a short side glance. She knew they worried about this sudden change in behavior. All of them had tried at some point to confront her about her behavior, to remind her about her promise to not hide things from them; but she just couldn't do it. She couldn't burden them with this. So whenever they tried she would insist that she was fine and run off to a dark secluded corner somewhere. That’s how she had been dealing with this.

When the bell finally rang she dashed as quickly as she could out of the classroom, ignoring the concerned sounds of her teammates. She moved as quickly as possible to the nook she had found to hide herself in; it was a mostly abandoned hallway of the top floor of the dorm building. There, the ceiling had a loose tile that led to a small forgotten attic space that she had outfitted with cushions and blankets. She had also stocked up on non-perishable foods and water. She did her best to remain in this space unless she had class, to make it easier to keep control of herself.   
Blake sighed with relief as she undid her tighter than usual tuck, allowing the object of her torment free. Although tucking with an erection all day was incredibly painful, it actually helped her in this case. The pain kept her head clear. She laid back on her nest of blankets and started doing the only thing she could do for her heat without involving anyone else.

Masurbating furiously.

Technically speaking she knew this didn’t actually help. Her body knew the difference between her own touch and the touch of another; she just didn't know what else to do. Her routine at the end of each day had become: jerk off, pass out, eat and/or drink something, repeat.   
She hoped that this would get her through the two weeks of heat, but unfortunately around 3 am she woke up feeling strange. For the last four days she’d felt like she had a high fever, hence why it's called heat, but this felt different. It felt like there was a molten core of lava trying to melt through the base of her penis. Blake moved her hand to try and sate it by masturbating again but every stroke of her hand was more painful than the last.   
Something was wrong.   
She cried out as the pain suddenly ran up her entire body, the hot burning sensation becoming completely unbearable as white lights pricked in her vision before she completely blacked out and fell unconscious.

She awoke to a different kind of pain; the pain of her face hitting asphalt. This was followed by a boot slamming the back of her head. Her ears were ringing, but she was sure she heard screaming and police sirens.   
What had happened?   
Blake started putting the pieces together when she felt her hands being cuffed behind her. She was lifted from the ground by multiple hands and her stomach dropped at what her new position allowed her to see.   
To her horror, she was naked from the waist down. There was torn cloth and blood on the ground; and not all of it belonged to her.   
The full realization of what must have happened brought tears to her eyes. She should have known better than to ignore her father’s wisdom.

Oh gods. 

She had lost control.


	2. Chapter 2

Professor Ozpin was suddenly jerked awake by the sound of the emergency line ringing. He looked at the clock on his bedside table. 4 am. What on Remnant could require his attention at this hour? Nothing good he realized. He stretched a bit to wake up and accepted the call.

“Professor Ozpin speaking.” 

“Good morning Professor, I’m afraid there’s been an incident with one of your students.” Ozpin recognized the voice as Vale’s chief of police. If he had decided to call at this hour instead of waiting until the morning it truly must have been urgent.

“What happened Verdant?” He started getting dressed as the chief filled him in.

“We have one of your students in lockup right now. Heat-induced assault. One of our night patrols heard the screaming and caught her in the act.”

Ozpin sighed heavily before responding, even though he already had a hunch as to who it might be, “Her?”

“According to the student I.D. we found, yes. First year student Blake Belladonna, although the I.D. identifies her as a human female.”

“That's what she wrote down on her application. I didn’t press because I respect my student’s privacy.”

The chief let out an exasperated sigh, “Well anyway, you should come down here so we can finish up all the paperwork as soon as possible. It would be best to get her back to the school as soon as possible.”

“I agree. I’m on my way now.” Ozpin picked up his cane and started to exit his room.

“Sounds good. I’ll see you in a minute.” The chief then ended the transmission.

Ozpin exited into the hallway and collected a few things he would need before heading to the police station. Mainly sweatpants and a sweatshirt in Miss Belladonna’s size. These sort of incidents were fortunately rare as Beacon provided services for faunus students during their biannual heat. However if a student didn’t tell him they needed the services they were obviously unable to use them. It always worried him when a student didn’t trust him to keep their secrets. His job was to teach after all, not to judge. He sent a message to Glynda’s scroll informing her that he needed to tend to an emergency and would be off campus before leaving to go downtown.

~~~~

Blake wanted to die.

Well not really, but she was certainly mortified enough with herself to warrant such a reaction. Despite the truth being painfully obvious, she was having a hard time processing what had happened.

Heat-induced assault.

A technical and slightly nicer way of saying that she raped someone when she lost control of the urges. That was what they charged her with; why she was currently curled up in the corner of a solitary cell. They were purposely keeping her away from others they were keeping in here.

Whether it was for her protection or theirs, she wasn't sure about.

At least they had given her a pair of pants, although the prison oranges made her stomach twist. A small part of her reasoning for leaving the White Fang in the first place was to avoid ending up in jail. Not that she was complaining, she knew that this was entirely her fault. She ignored the warnings and now she would pay the price. 

She should pay the price.

Never had she hated her anatomy more than now. Especially as time passed and she felt the heat start to creep back in.

Damn her stupid penis.

She waited in silence for what felt like hours. She felt exhausted but knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep here. Eventually, she heard the door being unlocked and an officer walked inside.

“Get up. Your headmaster is here.”

Ozpin was here? Probably to formally expel her, she thought. Blake sighed, stood up, and let the officer cuff her. He was a bit rougher than needed but she assumed it was because her ears were exposed. She was led down a few hallways before being taken into a room labeled as the chief of police’s office. She kept her eyes firmly on the ground as she was led inside and sat in the empty chair in front of the desk. The chief wasted no time in getting right to business. 

“I had hoped we wouldn’t keep you waiting as long as you did but the paperwork takes a while.” He started, “We are releasing you into Professor Ozpin’s custody on the condition that you wear this aura tracking anklet and remain on campus until your trial.” The chief placed a metal anklet on the desk and the officer that brought her here snapped it around her ankle. It let out a single beep as a small light began to slowly flash on the side of it. 

To say she was confused was an understatement.

“You’re letting me go? I’m not being expelled?” Blake asked incredulously. This time, Professor Ozpin spoke up.

“You’re not the first person to end up in this situation during my tenure,” he explained, “If I expelled every student that got in trouble with the law, there would be no huntsmen left to fight the grimm.”

“And technically speaking we aren’t letting you go,” The chief chimed in, as he placed an almost threatening hand on her shoulder, “We’re just putting you in Professor Ozpin’s custody. That way you can continue your training instead of keeping you in a cell. Much preferable, correct?”

It was. Very much so. Blake simply nodded and she felt the officer uncuff her. Her hands instinctively moved to cover her lap in an attempt to hide her shame.

“I have a change of clothes for you,” Professor Ozpin handed her a set of Beacon branded sweats, “I doubt you want to return to campus in a torn shirt and prison wear.”

No she definitely did not. She was directed to a bathroom to change in and almost started to cry when she realized Professor Ozpin had also included a pair of underwear for her. The kind specifically designed to help hide erections during heat. She had been dreading the idea of walking onto campus in loose sweatpants, especially as her churning hormones had already made her completely hard again.

She changed quickly and went back out to where the professor was waiting for her. They boarded the shuttle to Beacon and Blake started preparing herself for what was to come.

Her team was going to give her hell.


	3. Chapter 3

Yang was worried about Blake. Ruby and Weiss were as well of course, but Yang especially after this morning. Even with this sudden change in her partner’s behavior, Blake always at least stopped by the dorm every morning before class to change clothes. Today she hadn’t. A small ball of anxiety twisted in the pit of Yang’s stomach as the three remaining members of the team went down to the cafeteria for breakfast.

They sat down at their usual table. Team CFVY was seated down at the opposite end of the table while team JNPR were sitting across from where the remaining RWY sat down. 

“Blake’s still skipping breakfast?” Pyrrha asked in a concerned tone.

“Haven't seen her at all since the end of class yesterday.” Yang replied sadly.

“That's, what? Five days now?” Jaune spoke up, “And you guys have no idea what’s wrong?”

The whole team shook their heads in almost unison. 

“If she didn’t tell you what was going on then she didn’t want you to know.” Coco suddenly chimed in from the other end of the table.

“Oh and I don’t suppose you know what's going on?” Weiss snapped back.

“I have a pretty good hunch.” Coco smirked and glanced at Velvet, she immediately grew a slight blush as her ears twitched back and forth. As if she was trying to listen to multiple things at once.

“Why don’t you enlighten us then?” Weiss crossed her arms as a slight scowl started to form on her face.

“It’s not my place to tell you,” Coco shrugged before fully turning to Velvet and changing her tone. “You ok there Vel?”

Velvet had started looking around the crowded cafeteria. Ears twitching to bring in conversations from all over. “There’s rumors all over the place, about Blake.”

“What are they saying?” Yang couldn't help the touch of anger that entered her voice.

“It's nothing good that's for sure.” 

Yang started to get up, ready to punch anyone spreading rumors about Blake, but Ruby placed a hand on her shoulder and forced her back into her seat.

“HOLY SHIT! LOOK!” A yell suddenly came from the other end of the cafeteria, students rushed to the windows to see. This time Ruby couldn’t stop Yang from getting up and running towards the window, pushing her way through students until she could see what they were looking at.

It was Blake. She had her head covered by a hood but Yang could definitely tell it was Blake. She was walking with Professor Ozpin towards the main school building from the direction of the airship dock. Something seemed off about this, she was wearing generic school sweats, which Yang knew Blake didn’t own. And why was she entering the school grounds? With Ozpin of all people? It was then she picked up on snippets of what the faunus students around her were saying.

“Damn! Do you think she actually…”

“I knew that stunt wouldn’t end well, no one can ignore it forever.”

“You owe me five lien asshole, it happened in the first week!”

“Do you think it happened here or…?” “Nah, would have been more of a fuss this morning if it was here.”

“I knew I smelled something off about her, why didn’t she ask anyone?”

Yang felt her blood start to boil. Something bad had happened and it seemed like everyone in school knew except for her.

“CAN SOMEONE JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!” Yang suddenly yelled, her eyes turning red as her anger took over. The cafeteria suddenly became quiet before someone snickered.

“Humans, completely out of the loop as usual.”

Before Yang could go off and punch them into next week, she felt something tug the back of her shirt and pull her backwards. She looked behind her and saw it was Professor Goodwitch, using her semblance to pull Yang from the crowd of students.

“Miss Xiao Long, it would be prudent for you to calm down. Come with me,” She looked at Ruby and Weiss, who had gotten up from the table to try and stop Yang, “You two as well.”

As soon as they were out of the cafeteria and walking down the hallway, Ruby spoke up.

“Professor? What’s going on?”

Glynda sighed and kept looking ahead as she led them in the direction of the headmaster’s office. “Professor Ozpin will fill you in on the relevant details once we’ve arrived.”

Yang wanted to press but ultimately decided not to.

Professor Goodwitch ushered them inside the elevator once they had arrived and pressed the button without entering herself. Everyone looked at each other with slightly nervous glances. What would be waiting for them when the doors opened again? What had even happened? Yang had so many questions. Hopefully she would finally get some answers.

~~~~~~~~

The walk of shame had been the worst part. 

Blake knew that everyone must have been staring at her as they walked past the cafeteria windows on the way to the professor’s office. A part of her hoped the other faunus students wouldn’t expose her secrets, especially to her team, but did she really even deserve the privacy at this point? She’d done something truly awful and was absolutely dreading having to tell her team. Blake knew she would have to at this point.

When they finally reached the elevator and walked inside Professor Ozpin broke the silence they had held since leaving the police station.

“I’m having Professor Goodwitch collect the rest of your team and escort them here. I will spare you the embarrassment of having me explain the details to them.” Blake swallowed nervously and nodded.

“I appreciate that Professor.”

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to reveal Professor Ozpin’s office. They walked inside and he gestured for Blake to take a seat in front of his desk. As she sat down he began to speak again.

“Before they arrive I want to make some things clear with you. I am a teacher, my job is to teach; not to judge. If you had told me on your application that you were a faunus but wished to keep that discrete, I would have respected that. This also applies to the matter of your gender identity. Normally, I would not ask a student to disclose their identity to me. That is their business not mine. However due to the fact that you are also a faunus, that requires accommodations. Accommodations that would have prevented this incident. I am making these accommodations available to you from now on. You would be wise to take advantage of them for the rest of this cycle and any future ones that pass while you are in attendance here. Do I make myself clear?”

Blake shrinked in on herself in shame. “Very clear Professor.”

“Good. I am uploading the relevant permissions and information booklet to your scroll.” Blake heard her scroll beep in her pocket, followed by the beep from the elevator stopping. “Ah and here they are now.”

Blake couldn’t bring herself to look behind her at her teammates as they entered the office. She was too ashamed of herself. Professor Ozpin gestured for them to sit down in the chairs next to Blake before he addressed them all.

“It is unfortunate that I have to inform you that there was an incident that took place last night. I will leave the details for Miss Belladonna to explain to you later.” He gave Blake a very pointed look that told her she didn’t have a choice in the matter. She nodded and he continued, “Due to the nature of this incident Miss Belladonna is no longer allowed to leave campus until everything is resolved. This will take several months at least and as such this affects all of you. The fall away missions are coming up soon. Miss Rose, as team leader you have a decision to make here. As Miss Belladonna is ineligible to attend the mission she will be remaining on campus and writing a research paper. The decision for you to make is if your team will be attending the mission as a team of three or if you would rather stay here and do the written assignment.”

Ruby took very little time to answer. “We will stay here. It wouldn’t feel right to leave Blake behind like that.”

“You should go without me.” Blake finally looked up at her teammates, although pointedly ignoring Yang’s gaze. She couldn’t deal with that yet. “Don’t let my stupid mistake hold the rest of you back.”

“We’re a team Blake. We stick together. No matter what. Even if that means more homework.” Ruby gave her a supportive smile that Blake felt she definitely didn't deserve. 

“I agree with Ruby,” Weiss chimed in, “It wouldn’t benefit us to leave you behind, even if we wanted to. Which we don’t”

Yang looked up and Blake finally met her eyes. She could tell that Yang was hurt; confused. She didn’t blame her. Yang let out a small smile and spoke. “A team is like a family Blake. You don’t leave family behind.”

Blake felt like she’d been punched by a brick. She felt tears start to well up in her eyes. The tears quickly stopped however when her body decided to remind her that the heat cycle was still going and she needed to stop ignoring her needs. The painful twinge caused her to wince a little and twitch. Yang must have noticed as her face turned to one of concern. Blake quickly spoke up to distract her.

“Then I guess I’m out voted.”

Professor Ozpin nodded. “Then it's settled. I am excusing all of you from classes today, but you will be expected to make up the work. You are dismissed.” 

The awkwardness started as soon as they got in the elevator. All of them seemed to open their mouths at once to speak but Blake immediately spoke up in order to avoid being barraged with questions. 

“I owe all of you a lot of explanation. I know I can’t avoid it any longer. But please, before you say anything could we wait until we get to the dorm room? Let me collect my thoughts on the way there?” She could tell from her face that Yang did not want to wait but she nodded with the others. 

The rest of the trek back was quiet to Blake’s relief. Where was she going to even start with this? In the pit of her stomach she could feel her anxiety rising. They had shown her so much kindness and consideration in that meeting.

Would they still want to after she told them everything?


	4. Chapter 4

Blake could have cut the tension in the dorm room with a knife. Ruby and Weiss had taken a seat on Weiss’s bed and Yang sat on the floor in front of them. Blake sat opposite them on her own bed, nervously rubbing the hem of her sweatshirt. She took a deep, shaky breath and began to speak.

“So, uhh, this is going to be a lot, in order to really tell you what happened this morning I need to fill you all in on a lot of context.” She fidgeted a bit and tried to steady her voice to continue.

“It’s ok Blake, take your time.” Ruby reassured her with a smile.

“Thank you.” She took another deep breath and took the plunge. “To start off. You already know that I am a faunus and that I tried to hide that fact, what you don’t know is that I have been hiding something else too. I’m…” she felt the word catch in her throat but forced it out. “Transgender.”

There was a moment of silence as the statement sank in. It was Ruby who broke it by suddenly speaking. “Ohhh so that's why you act so weird in the locker room. OW!” Weiss smacked Ruby in the back of the head while Yang and Blake giggled at the comment. Blake was grateful for the break in the tension and once everyone was silent again, she felt more comfortable as she continued.

“So, because I am transgender, and because I am a faunus, that causes certain… Complications twice a year. And one of those times is happening right now.” She paused for a moment before asking a question. “I’m guessing none of you know much of anything about faunus biology past the basic traits?” Everyone shook their heads no and Blake took yet another deep breath. This was going to be the awkward part.

“Twice a year, for around two weeks in the fall and spring, faunus go through something called heat.”

“Wait. That's real? I had assumed someone made it up to insult faunus.” Weiss interjected.

“Yes,” Blake sighed, “It's real, very real.” She said with a bit of a pointed tone as once again her penis throbbed painfully. She needed to get through this already before the pain and dysphoria became unbearable. “Basically, all you really need to know is that it affects vagina having and penis having faunus differently. And that difference is very important. All faunus get sexual urges during this time but for faunus like me, it's a bit more... urgent.” 

“What does this have to do with what happened this morning?” Yang asked when Blake took a break in talking to steel herself for what she was about to say next.

“I’m about to get there. If penis having faunus try to ignore their urges and go without sex, they can loose control of the heat.”

“Lose control how?” Ruby asked as she tilted her head to the side.

Blake took one last shaky breath, she could feel tears start to build in her eyes. This was it. The moment of truth.

“If someone like me tries to ignore their urges they can lose control of themselves. They blackout and…” Tears were fully flowing now. “Forcibly sate the urge.”

“Blake…?” Yang looked very concerned. Blake let out a sob.

“This morning I lost control of my heat. I woke up downtown being arrested by Vale police. T-they had caught me in the act.” Blake confessed before fully breaking down into sobs. She expected to be scorned. That her teammates would react with disgust. Therefore, she was surprised when she suddenly felt arms wrapping around her in a hug. She looked up in confusion to see that all three of them had gotten up to comfort her.

She didn’t deserve that. To be comforted like this. She had just confessed to them this horrible thing she’d done. They should hate her for it.

“I-I don’t understand. You shouldn’t be comforting me. I don’t deserve this.”

“You said that you blacked out right?” Blake nodded, “Then it wasn’t really you. You didn’t want to do that.” Yang spoke softly into her ear.

“I was still responsible though. It’s my fault for trying to ignore it.” As if on cue her body once again demanded attention, the close proximity of the other girls really didn’t help that situation; especially with how close they were to her lap. “Could I have some space please?” A blush grew on her face and the others quickly retreated.

Once everyone was seated again, Weiss spoke up. “So, now what? I assume you’re not allowed to leave campus because of the arrest?”

Blake nodded. “I’m essentially on house arrest.” She lifted her pant leg to reveal the anklet. “Tracker and everything. I’m pretty sure I was only given the deal I was given though because I’m a student here. Any civilian faunus in my situation would have fared much worse.” That fact didn’t sit with her very well. She wasn’t used to having any sort of privilege. 

“Well that's nice at least,” Weiss smiled at her. “Is that everything?”

Technically no, but that was everything the team as a whole needed to hear. So Blake nodded her head in response.

“Good,” Weiss stood up and picked up her bag, “Then I am going to the library to get started on today's make up work.”  
Ruby stood up after Weiss left. “I think I’m going to see if I can sneak into the workshop and work on Crescent Rose.” She zipped off using her semblance leaving Blake and Yang alone.

Blake knew what she needed to do but was incredibly nervous to ask, luckily for her Yang breached the subject first.

“So what are you going to do to prevent it happening again? You said you just needed to stop ignoring the urges right?”

Blake felt her face flush. “Yeah…” She wanted to ask. Technically she needed to ask. But for some reason she just couldn’t get the words out. Once again though, Blake didn’t need to.

“I’d be happy to help you with that.” Yang said with a slight blush. But then her expression turned to one that was slightly hurt. “But, why didn’t you ask me before? You know how I feel about you. I thought you felt the same but…”

Blake blurted out. “I do! I really do. But I just… I couldn’t ask you to do that Yang. I couldn’t just drop this responsibility in your lap. When you told me you were a lesbian I immediatly worried that would mean you would lose interest in me if you found out I was trans.” Tears were back in her eyes as she realized she was rambling out her anxieties and shut her mouth.

Once again Yang looked a little hurt, Blake hated that expression. “Yeah, I’m a lesbian. But all that means is that I love women. And you’re a woman. No matter what is in your pants.” Yang stood up and walked over to sit next to Blake, a hand landing on her leg. “Now are you going to let me help you or not?” 

Blake swallowed nervously and nodded. What she had expected was a quick handy to get it over with. What she got was what could be considered the most passionate blowjob she had ever received. Because the heat had her so pent up she finished quickly and Yang moved back up to sitting on the bed.

“So about how often will you need help with that?” Yang asked after pointedly making eye contact with Blake and swallowing with a smirk.

After Blake recovered for a moment she pulled out her scroll to finally look at the information Professor Ozpin uploaded to it. “It’s different for everyone. I got unlucky and have a rather active cycle. For me it's around three hours before I start getting hard again. Five before it starts getting painful.”

“And you went without for four days!?! No wonder you seemed so distracted in class. You must have been in so much pain.”

“I was.” She skimmed over the info and found it to be about what she expected.

“What's that? Yang asked.  
“Professor Ozpin gave me access to the school’s accommodations for faunus students during heat. As long as no one skips or is too late to class there are rooms available in the main building that students can check into for quick relief. They require 2 scrolls to open and at least one of them has to have the permissions.”

“Sounds good.” Yang stood up and stretched. “I think I’m going to go get a workout in since the gym is guaranteed to be empty. Message me if you need me again before I get back.” Yang winked at Blake before exiting the dorm room.

The exhaustion finally caught up to Blake. She yawned and laid down, not bothering to change or even get under the covers. As she tried to fall asleep, her mind was racing; processing everything that had happened.That had gone way better than Blake had expected. She was still trying to process how kind and considerate everyone was being about this. It just couldn’t last. Could it?

She was just waiting for the hammer to fall.


	5. Chapter 5

Blake was nervous getting ready for classes the next day. Her hands shook slightly as she tied her bow around her ears once again. At the moment it made her feel more comfortable, and comfortable was what she needed right now. Being given yesterday off helped with her comfort levels with everything that had happened, giving her time to rest and process things; even if the ball of guilt in her stomach was still there.

But now she had to face her faunus peers.

Yang has told her about what had gone down in the cafeteria when she had arrived on campus. Some of the things they had said really twisted her stomach. The idea that people had been placing bets on when she would lose control did not sit well at all. 

She knew they would have been able to tell. The already advanced sense of smell faunus becomes even more sensitive during heat; allowing people to tell every little nuance about someone’s heat from scent alone. Blake knew she must have smelled incredibly desperate whenever she was around other faunus. What really worried her about it though was something a little odd she had realized afterwards.

No one had asked her if she needed help.

All of them knew she had to have been close to the brink and what did they do? They laughed behind her back and waited for the inevitable. Even the ones that Yang said had sounded more sympathetic, they didn’t try to help either. 

When she was in the White Fang there had been an understanding among them during the heat cycles. Everyone was in the same boat, so it was best to help each other. As far as she knew this attitude tended to be the case wherever there was a group of faunus when the heat rolled around. Everyone followed that philosophy. Well mostly everyone…

She shook off the bad memories that popped up and steeled herself for the walk to the cafeteria. She took a deep breath but then almost jumped ten feet in the air when she felt a hand suddenly touch her shoulder.

“Woah, Blake. You okay?” It was just Yang. Guess she was more nervous than she thought she was.

“Yeah I’m fine. Sorry.” Yang gave her an incredulous look. “Really. I’m just a bit nervous after what you told me happened in the cafeteria yesterday.”

“We’ll be there to support you if anyone tries anything.” Yang said very seriously before softening a bit, “Do you uh… Need any help before we go?” A slight blush appearing on her face.

The painful throb Blake got from her crotch insisted that yes, she needed help before going anywhere but she hesitated to say anything. Why was she still so nervous about this? Yang had already helped her; the ice had been broken in that sense. And since she had decided to ignore her heat last night before everyone went to bed due to a sudden dysphoria spike the pain was pretty constant. That dysphoria was still bothering her this morning and she didn’t know if she could deal with having to see herself. But she needed to take care of her heat…

Blake didn’t get the chance to decide on the matter as she heard Yang sigh and grab Blake’s hand, pulling her with her into the bathroom away from where Ruby and Weiss were still getting ready.

“Why are you trying to ignore it again Blake?” Yang wasted no time in getting right to the point as soon as the door closed. She had crossed her arms and looked rather stern. Blake looked at the floor and sighed heavily.

“I’m not, I swear. I just tend to get rather bad dysphoria during heat. I don’t know if I could handle seeing it right now.” She hadn’t noticed the tear growing in her eye until she felt Yang wipe it away with her thumb.

“Then don’t look, close your eyes. I’ll make sure it's over as quickly as possible.”

Blake bit her lip nervously and nodded. She took a seat on the bathroom counter and with a deep calming breath, closed her eyes. Yang kept her promise, using her hand and moving quickly, but what Blake wasn’t expecting was what Yang whispered into her ear.

“You’re such a wonderful girl Blake. You really are. You are so beautiful, every part of you. Even if you don’t always believe that, it's still true. You are such a beautiful, wonderful girl, Blake.”

When Blake finished she broke down into sobs, but this time they were happy tears. She wrapped her arms around Yang and hugged her tightly.

“Thank you. So much.” She could feel Yang smile against her cheek.

“You’re welcome.”

~~~~~~~

When Blake walked into the cafeteria she could feel everybody’s eyes on her.

She kept her eyes firmly on the floor as she walked with her team to get their meals before sitting down at their usual table. To her relief, no one on team JNPR tried to ask about what had happened; although Nora tried to at one point before Ren distracted her by getting her to tell them about some strange dream she had had. She guessed that someone, most likely Yang, had asked them not to pry. She was very grateful for that. 

It couldn’t stay nice forever though. Breakfast was nearing its end and the other teams at their table had gone ahead to class while team RWBY was waiting for Ruby to finish eating. Just as Blake thought she could make it through breakfast without anything going wrong, a ball of paper hit her in the back of the head. She whipped around and saw a group of first year faunus boys at another table quickly turn away from her while snickering. She frowned and picked up the paper, flattening it out in front of her on the table. 

She wished she hadn’t.

She felt bile start to rise in her throat, tears pricked the corners of her eyes. It was a crude drawing of herself, but she had a knife in her hands and was cutting off her faunus set of ears. At the top was writing that said, ‘if you want to be human so bad then why don’t you just cut them off.’ It felt like a kick to the stomach. Is that what they thought she wanted? Her heritage was very important to her, even with all the problems being a faunus caused her she would never want to be anything else.

Blake jumped when fists suddenly slammed the table. She looked up to see Yang getting up out of her seat. Her eyes red. She must have seen the drawing. She turned in the direction of the table the boys were sitting at, but Blake quickly grabbed her arm.

“Please don’t Yang, it’s not worth it.” Yang sighed and sat back down, but not before giving the boys a death glare.

The boys snickered some more, but didn’t do anything else. Blake felt tears fully running down her cheeks now and she felt Yang hug her from the side. Weiss reached forward and grabbed the paper from in front of Blake and her and Ruby gasped when they saw what was on it.

“That’s horrible! Why would anyone draw something like this?” Weiss questioned with shock in her voice.

“They’re just bullies.” Yang snarled. “Mean, awful, bullies.” Ruby took the drawing and tore it up before dashing over to a trash can and throwing it away.

“There,” she said as she materialized out of her semblance into her seat with a burst of rose petals. “Now it’s gone.”

“Can we go to class now?” Blake said in a very small voice, tears slowly dripping down her face. 

Yang reached out and placed her palms on Blake’s cheeks, using her thumbs to brush her tears away. She kissed Blake softly on the forehead before removing her hands and offering one of them to Blake as she stood up.

“Yeah, lets go.” 

If Blake didn’t feel so despondent right now she would have laughed at Ruby inhaling the rest of her food and quickly pulling a loudly complaining Weiss behind her out of the cafeteria. As it was though, she held Yang’s hand until they got to their first class of the day. 

Blake laid her head on her desk as sat down, sighing as she realized that probably wasn’t going to be the last time something like that happened.


	6. Chapter 6

Surprisingly for Blake, the rest of the day went relatively smoothly. Sure there were snickers and staring but nothing overt. She was just happy there was only one more day of school before the weekend. Two whole days where she didn’t have to deal with her suddenly more hostile peers.

That Friday morning went relatively smoothly until Blake was walking to her last class before lunch. Yang had gone ahead as Blake needed to talk to Professor Oobleck about make-up work, so she was alone. As Blake turned the corner, the faunus boys that had been bullying her yesterday were teasing a human girl. 

When they spotted Blake one of them sneered and quipped. “Uh oh. It’s Belladonna.” He turned back to the girl, “You might wanna run. Or she might rape you.” They all laughed and walked off. What really hurt Blake the most though, was when the boys said that the girl’s eyes widened as she stared at Blake before running away. Blake felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes but blinked a few times to force them back. She let out a deep sigh and started to continue to class but stopped when she heard someone call her name.

“Blake. Hold on a second.” Blake turned around and saw that it was Velvet. “Could we talk for a moment?” Blake nodded and moved to stand with her next to the wall.

“I wanted to apologize,” Velvet started, shuffling her feet shyly. Blake gave her a questioning look. “For not offering to help you.” Oh. Blake blushed.

“I wasn’t expecting you to. I doubt Coco would have understood the necessity.” 

“Yeah, I tried to explain to her how casual things get during heat normally and she thought I was asking for an open relationship.”

“Humans tend to have a harder time understanding faunus customs. You can’t blame them for it but it can become bothersome when they just don’t get it.”

Blake and Velvet idley talked for a few more moments before walking off to class. What Blake didn’t notice however, was that Yang had come back to make sure Blake hadn’t run into any trouble in the halls.

She had heard more than she wanted to.

~~~~

When the bell rang for lunch Blake sighed with relief. Around half way through class her heat situation started becoming painful and after yesterday she was becoming more comfortable receiving help with it. She tapped Yang’s shoulder as they left class and signaled her to follow. She led Yang down to the hall where she had been told the heat rooms were. 

The doors looked like the doors in the dorms, with a scanner on the door to put your scroll up to. Blake swiped hers and one of the lights lit up. Yang then swiped hers and another light lit up. They heard the lock click and Blake opened the door. The room was simple. A plain double bed in the middle of the room with a table on one side. On the table was a small wire basket full of condoms and a sign in a picture frame reminding the students that pregnancies are preventable and Beacon’s curriculum couldn’t accommodate them if they did become pregnant. Blake felt herself blush reading that but was glad that they seemed to have thought of everything.

"Before we...do anything," Yang piped up from her place behind Blake, trying to keep the emotion out of her voice. "I need to have a conversation with you."

"Okay..." Blake tried not to look nervous. What would she have to talk about?

Yang suddenly found it impossible to hold her partner's gaze, and she cleared her throat awkwardly.   
"When this is all over, what... what are we?" She asked, her voice cracking somewhat.   
"I-I heard what you said to Velvet. Do you really think I don't get it? Are you-" Yang took a deep breath, gathering her courage and willing the tears she felt to not well in her eyes.  
"Are you just using me as a tool to help you get through this? Cause I- I don't think I could handle that, Blake."

Blake felt the tears that seemed to come so often now spring back into her eyes. "N-no, no I would never- If that had been my intention I never would have tried to go without in the first place. I thought that by trying to get through this one I could protect you from all this heat bullshit until we could properly sort out our feelings but that obviously didn't work and now..." She was full out sobbing now. She had been terrified of something like this happening. Gods he had been right, everything was coming back to bite her. She really was a disgusting coward. "I'm so sorry you have to deal with me and my stupid gross body." She sobbed out a little more quietly.

"Hey, hey, hey," Yang said, all of her thoughts focusing on Blake at that moment.   
She brought her hands up to cradle her friend's face, gently wiping away any tears that escaped.  
"You don't have anything to apologize to me for, Blake, okay? And..." She bit her lip, slightly unsure how to proceed.   
"I know it's not the body you want, but it's yours, and you are beautiful to me, okay? You are. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Every. Single. Part of you. I just let my emotions get the better of me; I'm sorry for thinking you didn't want this... want us."

Blake let out another small sob. She really wasn't used to this kind of positive affirmation, especially in relation to her heat cycle.   
"I don't deserve you, Yang."

Yang let out a small sigh before she brought her lips gently to the faunus girl’s forehead.  
“You deserve the world, Blake.”

"I wouldn't go that far..." She wrapped her arms around herself. She suddenly inhaled sharply as the pain radiated once again throughout her lower regions.

“Let’s not worry about that now,” Yang said softly as she brought her arms down to lead Blake over to the bed and knelt in front of her, her nervousness bubbling up once more.  
“I, uh... I’m not sure what you were thinking since we have this room but I uh, I’m-I’m not ready to... yet. Wow, that made no sense, I’m sorry.” The brawler moved a hand to rub the back of her neck as she chuckled awkwardly.

"Whatever you're comfortable with. I never want to pressure you with any of this." Blake blushed slightly.

They knew they didn’t have much time as they still wanted to actually eat lunch, so Yang did her job quickly. Once Blake had finished they quickly made their way to the cafeteria to join their team to eat. 

The eyes on her were slowly becoming more bearable. As they all ate, every so often she would see someone at the table glare off in a direction. She realized they were likely staring down someone staring at her or anything like that. She was grateful for all the support she was receiving from her friends. She couldn’t stop the nagging in the back of her mind, though. The guilt of what she had done made everyone supporting her feel undeserved. She felt like they were only helping her because they didn’t understand the full scope of what she had done. That would change though. Eventually she would go to trial. Knowing her friends they would want to be in the courtroom to support her. Then they would see the truth.

They would realize they had been supporting a monster the whole time.


	7. Chapter 7

The weekend was a nice break from all the stress that being around people had been causing her lately. Being hurt by one person repeatedly in private was one thing, being openly bullied and mocked in public by a group was something else entirely. As a brightside though, she had passed the halfway point of the heat. Only five more days of this. Unfortunately they were all school days. She braced herself for the day and headed out with her team.

Breakfast went fine. So did her morning classes. The problems began during lunch.

On their way to meet the rest of their team in the cafeteria, Yang had to stop at the bathroom and Blake was waiting for her outside. Dread filled the pit of her stomach as the faunus boys who had been tormenting her came around the corner. She looked at her feet, hoping they wouldn’t notice her but it seemed she wouldn’t have that much luck.

“Well look who it is.” Their apparent leader, a deer faunus with horns spoke up. “How was your weekend Belladonna? Find another way to disgrace yourself?”

Gods why did he have to be so mean? “Why are you doing this? Yeah, I made a mistake. A horrible, awful mistake. But at the end of the day we’re all faunus. We have to stick together.”

What happened next was so sudden she didn’t have time to raise her aura.

The deer faunus suddenly slammed his foot as hard as he could into her crotch. Her feet lifted a few inches off the ground before she landed and collapsed on the floor, curling into a ball in pain. She felt like she was going to vomit, this hurt so bad. She was so stunned by it that she couldn’t raise her aura when she felt a kick to her ribs.

“You have some damn nerve saying that. Claiming you care about faunus when all your actions say you don’t want to be one.” She felt her bow being violently ripped from her head, followed by another kick. “You still have the gall to hide your traits, even when the whole school knows the truth. And to make it even worse.” This time he stomped on her ribs. She yelped in pain, her ribs cracking. She could have raised her aura this time, but she didn’t bother. She felt like she deserved this. “Belladonna. I doubt that’s a coincidence. Any faunus who knows anything knows that name. My parents certainly sang the praises of the man who led a revolution. Does he know his daughter wants to be a human? Wants to throw away his life's work? You make me sick.” 

She braced herself for another hit that never came. She suddenly heard a yell as the bathroom door was knocked from its hinges by Yang bursting through, her hair ablaze and her eyes burning red. Blake watched as Yang’s fist slammed into his face. His friends quickly scattered as Yang kept whaling on him, knocking him to the ground and kneeling over him to pound her fist into his face repeatedly. 

Blake tried to get up but the sharp pain from her likely broken ribs wouldn’t let her. She finally activated her aura, wincing as her ribs pulled themselves back together. She stood up on shaky legs and cried out.

“Yang! Stop!” 

Yang suddenly froze, her fist poised to strike again. Blake managed to get a little closer and her eyes widened at what she saw. 

He was unconscious, probably lucky honestly. His face was a bloody mess, he must not have had enough time or focus to activate his aura. If she remembered right from combat class, he was never very good at defence. When she looked at Yang her heart broke. Yang was now staring at her fist, it was covered in blood. Blake thought she could even see white bits where the hits had ripped open Yang’s knuckles. When Yang’s hand started shaking and tears started well in her eyes, Blake took her hand in both of hers.

“Hey, breathe.” Blake spoke softly, her ear twitching as she heard a group of people coming towards them in the hallway. “You need to heal your hand.” Blake sighed with relief as she saw the yellow glow envelope Yang’s hand. “Thank you, for defending me.” She smiled at Yang, who still looked upset at herself but managed to give Blake a small smile.

Blake looked up as the footsteps she heard before came around the corner. It was Professor Goodwitch, followed by the other faunus boys who had run off. Oh this couldn’t be good. 

“Miss Xiao Long! Off of him immediately!” She sternly ordered. Yang obeyed and took a few steps back, her hand still in Blake’s. They nervously waited as Professor Goodwitch looked him over. Apparently his aura had activated itself when he passed out, he was just covered in blood. She told his friends to take them back to the dorms so he could recover, before turning to Blake and Yang. She used her semblance to fix the bathroom door before speaking.

“Both of you. Come with me.” Professor Goodwitch started walking in the direction of Professor Ozpin’s office. They followed, nervously looking at each other every so often.

The elevator ride was long, it always felt long when you were anxious about what would happen when you reached the top. Blake already felt like she was on thin ice and getting in trouble again worried her. She was more worried about Yang though. After all, she was the one who still had blood on her hand. 

The elevator door pinged and the door opened to reveal Professor Ozpin sitting at his desk. He was drinking from his signature mug of who knows what and looking at something on the holo screens in front of him.

“Professor Ozpin.” Professor Goodwitch started, “The members of team BEIG came running up to me outside of the cafeteria to tell me that Miss Xiao Long here had attacked their leader without provocation.”

“That's a lie!” Yang interjected, her fist tightening. “He was bullying Blake again!”

“Please, Miss Xiao Long.” Professor Ozpin stated calmly, “You can tell your side of the story once Professor Goodwitch has finished hers.”

Yang grumbled but didn’t respond. Professor Goodwitch continued. “When I arrived at the scene she was still hovering over him while he was unconscious on the floor. I had his team take him back to their dorm to recover. It also appears that she destroyed the door to the women’s restroom during her outburst.”

“Thank you Glynda.” He took another sip of his mystery drink. “You can return to your lunch duties and I will handle the rest.” She nodded and left the office. Professor Ozpin gestured for Blake and Yang to sit down in front of his desk and they did so.

“Now, you were saying?” He turned to Yang.

“I was getting ready to leave the bathroom when I heard someone yelling outside the bathroom. I recognized the voice as the boy who has been harassing Blake for the last week. I lost my temper.” She looked down in shame. “I know I went too far but I was so tired of him bullying her. She was on the ground while he kicked her!”

“Is that what happened Miss Belladonna?” He now turned towards Blake.

She nodded. “I was waiting for Yang outside the bathroom when him and his team walked by. They stopped and he,” She had to pause as she felt those damn tears start again. She blinked them away and continued. “Insulted me and made fun of me before kicking me repeatedly and stomping on my ribs. Yang was just trying to defend me.”

Professor Ozpin nodded and seemed to think on things for a moment before speaking. “Miss Xiao Long, as your teacher I am disappointed in your actions,” Yang's eyes narrowed and Blake squeezed her hand to try and keep her calm. “As a human being however, I am proud of you. You defended your partner, and in the end that is the attitude I would rather my student here have. I still have to punish you, as combat of any kind outside of a class setting can’t be tolerated, but it will only be a single saturday detention. I will also be speaking to the other students involved and deal with them accordingly.” He briefly looked at the clock before turning back to them. “Did either of you get a chance to eat?” They both shook their heads. “I will send out a few messages then to make sure you can grab some lunch and won’t be punished for being late to class. You are both dismissed.”

They walked back into the elevator and Blake found herself sighing in relief. She was expecting that to go a whole lot worse than it did. Although now that she thought of it she didn’t know why it would have gone worse. Her anxiety had been getting so much worse just over the last week. Could she really blame anyone other than herself though? She never would have become a target if she hadn’t tried to ignore her heat. She should have just sucked it up and asked someone to help. She had been so worried about Yang and how she would have reacted if Blake had asked or what she would have thought if she’d found out Blake had fucked someone else? It's not like they had a formal relationship, but she didn’t like the idea of hurting Yang in any way. And she knew that would have hurt her deeply. 

Blake was suddenly pulled out of her thoughts by Yang taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. “Hey, are you ok?” Yang asked softly.

Blake nodded. “Yeah, just thinking about everything.” 

Yang gave her a sad sort of smile and squeezed her hand again. “It will be alright. I have a feeling they won’t mess with you anymore.”

Blake nodded and fell back into silence. There was a small part of her, she was ashamed to say, wished that Yang hadn’t intervened. Everything he had said to her was relatively true, minus her trying to look human being out of a wish to be human. She had just been trying to protect herself. Although in doing so she caused herself more harm. She wondered when it would start hurting the people she cared about. She glanced over at Yang sadly. She knew her decisions had to come back to hurt Yang too. She couldn’t let that happen. She wouldn’t.

She would die first.


	8. Chapter 8

Things were going more smoothly now at least. The boys hadn’t bothered Blake again, and no one else tried to fill the void. Blake hadn’t bothered putting a new ribbon on, allowing everyone to see once and for all that she was a faunus and that she wasn’t ashamed of it. It seemed silly to her how easy it was to answer her question from before. Why were all the faunus students weirdly against her?

Because they thought she was a race traitor.

It seemed so obvious now.

The rest of the week passed by relatively uneventally. Although Blake was never able to shake the feeling that she had been taking advantage of Yang somehow no matter how many times Yang reassured her otherwise. When the week came to a close she was relieved as the heat finally ended and she felt that weight leave her shoulders. It was made bittersweet however as this meant the legal processes would begin. 

Currently, it was monday; and Blake was being escorted off campus. Apparently there was exactly one exception to the ‘no leaving campus’ rule. Speaking to her lawyer. She hadn’t even thought of needing one, she had been planning on pleading guilty, but Professor Ozpin had called her into his office this morning to inform her that he had hired her one and that she was dismissed from her afternoon classes to speak with him. Apparently that was the only time he could fit her into his schedule. She didn’t know what type of lawyer Ozpin could have found to defend her but apparently he was very busy.

When they arrived at the building Blake had to do a bit of a double take. She definitely hadn’t expected to be taken to a high rise office building in the middle of downtown. This was very likely the nicest building Blake had ever stepped foot in, legally anyways, and she felt extremely out of place. No one seemed to give her any mind however, although there were a few odd glances at the top of her head. Her ears automatically flattened but she willed herself to keep moving and not pay attention to it, instead looking around her at the room. The floors were marble and the walls had gold plated decorations. The lobby even had a fountain in it and the ceiling went up several stories with balconies bordering the halls of the first, second, and third floors.

She was led to an elevator in the back and one of the officers sent to escort her pressed the button for the floor they wanted and waited in silence. Blake cross referenced the floor directory that was posted in the elevator and found that they were heading to the law offices of Amaranth and Diamond. That sounded familiar to her, why did that sound familiar?

When the doors opened they walked into a small hallway with only the elevator, a door accessing the stairs, and the door labeled as being the law offices. They entered that door to find themselves in another hallway. Everything was just as fancily decorated as the lobby was. She was led down to the very end of the hall, one of the officers knocked and a voice called out from inside inviting them to enter. They indicated for her to enter alone, so she took a deep breath and opened the door.

It was a very classical office. Lots of maroons and golds and leather. Large bookcases filled with law books covered the wall behind the desk. The desk itself was very large and definitely made of some kind of expensive hardwood. There were two wing-back chairs on the side of the desk she was closest to and sitting behind the desk looking at his holoscreen was an older, stockier, man with salt and pepper hair. His half-moon glasses sat low on his nose and he was wearing a maroon business suit that matched the decor of the room. On the desk was a placard labeled as ‘R. Amaranth Esq.’  
That's when it clicked in her mind. She remembered why she recognized that name. She had been young, but she remembered. Not too long before her father stepped down from the White Fang, he had been brought to court with some trumped up charges making him responsible for some human deaths that happened as the result of police intervention at one of the rallies he led. They had the hardest time trying to find a lawyer willing to defend him until they got a call out of the blue from a lawyer willing to take the case. His hair had gotten greyer in the six years since she had seen him but it was definitely the same man. If she remembered what the news had said about the case at the time, his victory was monumental and would be a landmark case in his career.

Oh this was going to be awkward wasn't it.

“Come in, come in. Sit down. We have a lot to talk about and not much time to do so.” He stood behind his desk and waved her in. Blake sat down in one of the chairs and he took his seat again before leaning forward to shake her hand. “Rufous Amaranth Esq., although I think you already knew that. Blake now, right?”

Shit, he made the connection. Of course he did. If first years at Beacon could why wouldn't a man she had actually met. Even if she hadn't been out at the time. She nodded and he continued.

“Now lets see. I was just looking over the evidence the police department sent me and although there will be a few hurdles this should be a pretty simple win for us.”

“Actually I was planning on pleading guilty.” She admitted, refusing to look up.

He scoffed. “Plead guilty? Now why would you throw everything away like that, Heat Induced Assault cases are easy to win. The only reason to plead guilty is if you can’t afford a decent lawyer. And lucky for you, your headmaster hired the best.” Blake looked up just in time to meet the lawyer’s gaze. “I’ve never lost a case before. You were rather young, but I assume you remember when I represented your father?” She nodded sheepishly. “That was a hard case. This is child's play. I’ll go for nothing other than a full acquittal.”

“Why though?!” Blake felt all her guilt bubbling to the surface. “I did something incredibly stupid, horrifically hurt someone, and was caught in the act by police! There’s no way to defend against that and I don't want to. I deserve all the punishment the court can throw at me for what I did.”

Rufous leaned back in his chair and gave her a blank look. “Blake, even if you did plead guilty, the most you would get is six months of community service.”

Blake felt her stomach drop. Six months of community service? That was nothing. Why on Remnant would the punishment for what was basically a rape charge be so low? He seemed to read the confusion on her face and spoke again.

“It’s because you are enrolled in a huntsmen academy. This means you fall under a clause in the Vale criminal code that protects huntsmen and huntsmen in training from receiving sentences that would impede their ability to protect the kingdom from Grimm. The only way to actually send a huntsman to prison for anything more than five years would be to have it waved, and that is only possible in cases where the prosecution can prove that the huntsman would be a danger to society if allowed to remain free. I’ve only heard of this happening in a single case and he was convicted of fourteen counts of first degree murder, eight counts of torture, and twelve counts of mutilating a corpse.”

Blake’s eyes widened at that. If that was the case, then even murderers would get hardly any punishment. And all for the sake of fighting the Grimm. Sure it was an essential job and they needed all the huntsmen they could get, but was that enough to warrant such an extreme privilege?  
“How is that considered just? A huntsman could murder his family in cold blood, be found guilty, and walk free again. How is that fair to the victims of their crimes?” 

He leaned forward in his chair and looked into her eyes. “In complete honesty. It's not. But you have to look at the bigger picture, Blake. Right now, not too far outside the walls of this city are hundreds of thousands of Grimm just waiting for their chance to destroy us. Our only real defense against that are huntsmen and huntresses like yourself. If the government placed the same rules on huntsmen that they did on civilians then there wouldn’t be enough huntsmen in the field to stem the tides. The walls would be overrun and millions of innocents would die. Now what is more important Blake? The needs of the many? Or the needs of the few?”

She sat in silence while trying to process that. 

Of course she knew how dire the situation could be at times; after all she had spent most of her life outside kingdom walls. But if giving fair sentences would leave the kingdom defenseless, then what kind of people were becoming huntsmen? Were people signing up for the academy just for a get out of jail free card? She’d certainly met some people at school that didn’t seem overly interested in being a huntsman for purely altruistic reasons. Had they enrolled to take advantage of the legal clause? It was certainly a possibility. She was pulled out of her thoughts when Rufous turned slightly to his holoscreen and began speaking again.

“Moralities of the law aside, we need to go over this. First of all I would like to hear your side of the story from you and not just from the interview notes the police gave me.”

She barely remembered giving that interview. She had still been slightly concussed from having her head stomped on without aura. She took a moment to steel herself and began to speak. “I don’t remember anything of the actual incident. I was sitting in an alcove I was hiding in to try and deal with my heat alone, I suddenly blacked out, and woke up to having my head slammed into the ground by police. I don’t think I even saw the victim at all. But I knew what must have happened due to my state of- undress.” She blushed. She hated having to talk about this, especially in front of people she barely knew. It was only going to get worse from here so she knew she needed to get used to it.

“You never actually saw the victim? Not even a glance to the ambulance or anything.”

Blake shook her head. “I couldn’t bring myself to.”

“How do you know anything actually happened though? You could have lost your pants in some other way, there might not have even been a victim and the police just wanted to pin you with something more than public nudity because of the time of year. You personally don’t know beyond reasonable doubt that an HIA even happened. That could be a huge help to us.”

“But there was also blood and torn bits of cloth on the ground. The cloth didn’t all look like the fabric of the clothes I was wearing.” 

“Blood easily could have been yours from having your head smashed into the pavement and the cloth could have been planted. Street patrols have an off the record faunus quota for arrests for each month, they've done worse to hit quota before.”

Blake felt like she was being gaslit. She knew what she had done. “You sound like you’re trying to convince me it didn’t happen.”

“Blake I am a defense lawyer. My job is to convince people that an event didn’t happen, no matter what evidence the prosecution has. To do that I need you to believe in your innocence, even just a little. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty in a court of law. Last time I checked, you are not a group of twelve sworn in members of the public. So why are you trying to place a verdict on yourself?”

She sighed and resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to go along with this. 

“Okay. I’ll try.”

He nodded and smiled. “Thank you Blake. I think that is all we can cover for this meeting as I have another in a few minutes. I’ll see you again next week at the same time.” He stood up and offered his hand for her to shake. Blake took it and left to go back to the school with the escorting officers.

Rufous sat back down and picked up his scroll. He quickly looked up a number and dialed. “Hello Ghira? It's Rufous Amaranth. Yes it's been a while, listen. I have some news you might want to hear from me and not the media when it breaks in a few months. It’s about your daughter.”


	9. Chapter 9

The school day was officially over by the time Blake got back to the campus. She headed towards the dorm and hoped that it would be empty.

She hated to admit it to herself but she had been avoiding Yang. Once her heat had ended she knew they needed to talk about things but she was just so scared to. She didn’t want to hurt Yang, but being around her would only cause her more harm. Blake knew she was a coward; she had run from the fang because she couldn’t confront Adam, she ran away from her parents because she was afraid they were right about what direction the fang was heading in, her own semblance reflected how she always ran away from her problems. Blake knew it was only a matter of time before she ran from Yang so she was doing so before they could really get attached. The fact that this all had to coincide with her heat cycle only made her heart ache more. She didn’t want Yang to think she had used her but she couldn’t let them grow any closer, no matter how much she wanted to. If she was allowing herself to be truthful with herself Blake would know that she loved Yang. Even if they hadn’t known each other very long she loved her with all her heart, and that's why she has to keep her distance. For the sake of both of them.

Saturday had been relatively easy to avoid the conversation she had promised before as Yang was in detention for most of the day from beating up the bully. On Sunday, Blake had gotten up early and found somewhere to hide with a book all day until sneaking back into the room after she knew everyone was asleep. This morning she had made sure to stick around the whole group so they would never be alone together to talk. It made sense then, that when she opened the door to their dorm Yang was inside. She was alone and she was pacing in circles around the center of the room. A perturbed look on her face. Blake wished she could close the door and walk away but Yang had already turned to face her. No running now. Yang stood up straight, crossed her arms and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Did you finally get tired of avoiding me?"

Blake shrank in on herself in shame. She walked into the room, closing the door behind her. She took a deep breath of her own and willed herself to not start crying again during this. It felt like all she did lately was cry but she decided to blame the turbulent mix of hormones that surround her heat cycle. "I'm sorry." She murmured, just loud enough for Yang to hear.

The blonde sighed and relaxed her posture as she placed a hand on her partner's shoulder. 

"Why were you avoiding me, Blake?" Yang's voice cracked a little as she too tried to keep her eyes from watering.

‘ _ Because I'm a terrible horrible coward who runs away from all her problems? _ ’ She thought to herself before trying to answer. "I..." She had to clench her jaw and squeeze her eyes shut to keep from breaking down.

Yang moved her hand from Blake's shoulder so that she was cradling her jaw. 

"Please, Blake," she whispered as she rested her forehead against the faunus's, "don't shut me out."

She had to blink rapidly to keep the tears back. It took her a few tries but she managed to whisper. "I was afraid."

"Of what? Of...me?" Yang was unable to keep the hurt from her voice at the question.

She felt panic rise in her chest hearing that. "No! No no not you." She couldn't stop the tears this time as they streamed down her face. "I was afraid because I know that if I allow myself to get too close to you, you'll just end up getting hurt and I can't let that happen to you. You're too important to me."

Taken aback, Yang pushed away slightly so she could meet her partner's gaze. 

"What are you talking about, Blake? I don't understand."

She wrapped her arms around herself and was shaking slightly. "When I get close to people I end up hurting them. It's happened before and it will happen again." Her thoughts were getting all scrambled in her head. She couldn't think straight. Blake violently shook her head to try to clear her thoughts.

"Blake, you don't have to worry about me, I'm strong, nothing's gonna hurt me, least of all you."

Yang’s words settled deeply in her stomach. It made her realize another danger her being around Yang would bring. Her voice dropped to a whisper. "He will though..."

"What? Who's 'he'?" Yang shook her head and placed a hand on Blake's arm, urging her over to her bed and sitting down. 

"Blake, tell me what's going on. Please?"

Blake sat down on the bed next to Yang and took a deep shaky breath. "My ex. Adam. When I left the White Fang. A large part of the reason was to get away from him."

Yang felt her entire body go rigid. "Did he hurt you?"

Blake nodded and turned away, holding herself tighter. Hurt was a bit of an understatement for the torment she had been under for the last fiveish years of her life, but it was certainly true. Her dysphoric feelings towards her body had increased exponentially during the time she was with him.

It was everything Yang could do to keep her eyes from turning red as she felt her blood begin to boil. Forcing herself to stay calm, she took Blake’s hand in her own and squeezed it gently. 

“I’m so proud of you for getting out of that, Blake. It had to be hard.”

“It was my fault. I was stupid. Let him hurt me.” She wasn’t quite mumbling but was pretty close to. She was the one who had accepted his advances without telling him the truth about herself.

“Oh no. No that is not true, Blake!” Yang once more grasped Blake’s face, making her meet her eyes. ”He is the one who chose to hurt you. It’s his fault, no one else’s, you hear me? It was absolutely in no way your fault.”

She shook her head. “If I had the right body he wouldn’t have hurt me. He told me as much. It’s my fault for being this way. For tricking him.” She was staring off into the distance now, remembering one of the many times he told her that. Her face stinging with phantom pain.

“Blake, no.” Yang all but pleaded, lifting Blake’s chin gently in her fingers. 

“You don’t get to decide how you’re born. You don’t get to decide how the world will see you. But he decided to hurt you.” Yang shuffled closer, just a little bit.

“Whether you have the right or wrong body, you are Blake Belladonna and I-“ she cut herself off, scared of what she had almost said.

She sniffled. “You what?”

Steeling her resolve, Yang swallowed thickly and hoped she was able to keep her voice steady.

"And I love you."

She'd heard that many times before, but it had never felt as good or as real as this time. She let out a sob but managed to get out. "I love you too."

Yang let out a watery half laugh-half sob before she pulled Blake into her arms, holding her tight. 

"He never deserved you, and I want you to know that I will never hurt you. I'd rather die than be the source of your pain."

Blake wished she could promise the same. But she knew herself too well. She was a coward. She knew she would always end up running. So she just nodded and leaned into Yang's embrace, deciding to just enjoy this while it lasted.

After a few moments, Yang pulled back a touch.

"Can I kiss you?" she whispered, her voice shaking with the emotions running through her at that moment.

Blake felt her heart leap in her chest and she bit her lip before just barely being able to whisper. "Yes."

Yang smiled softly before closing the distance once more, this time bringing her lips to Blake's. Blake melted into the kiss, closing her eyes and letting out a small pleasant hum. She had never felt so happy before than in that moment. She'd never really been kissed before. Not like this. Not in a way that is pleasant. It had always been a performance, or a cruel tease. This was different, this was pure ecstasy. That happiness couldn't last forever however as Blake suddenly felt her body reacting to the pleasure she was getting from kissing Yang. Her eyes shot open as she quickly pulled away with a gasp. Her hands shot to cover her crotch and she felt her heart leap into her throat in panic. "I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry" She apologized quickly with a slight sob to her voice. She thought she would die from embarrassment.

Yang couldn't help the small laugh that made its way out of her throat.

"Hey now, shhh," she crooned, her hand curling into Blake's hair from its place at the back of her neck. "It's okay, Blake; it isn't anything to be ashamed of, I promise."

"I'm not used to this happening outside of heat." Her face flushed. That had been practically beaten out of her. She wasn’t allowed to show desire in such a way. 

The blonde flushed right back as she leaned her face closer to Blake's once more.

"That's...a hell of a compliment, Belladonna," she breathed as she felt her own desire growing.

"I-is it?" She was surprised she was still conscious considering half her blood was below the belt and the other half was in her face, she was blushing so hard and everything Yang was doing was only making her more turned on.

"To hear that I'm the only one who makes you feel like this when you're not in heat? Yeah, yeah it is." Yang's lips brushed against Blake's as she talked, heat pooling in the pit of her stomach.

"O-oh." All this was only making her situation worse but somehow it didn't feel as terrible or embarrassing as before. Yang made all this feel okay. She barely had to move as she drew her into another kiss.

Yang kissed Blake back with a sudden passion that she herself was a little surprised at. After a few moments, her nervousness caught up with her, and she broke the kiss and leaned back just enough to be able to look her partner in the eyes.

"I-I've never... you know... before..." Her face was on fire, and suddenly it was impossible for Yang to keep her eyes on Blake's.

"Technically speaking, I haven't either, b-but you know you don't have to right? The heat is over. I-I don't need-" She felt her breath catch in her throat. She knew she didn't outright need sex right now but she was starting to want it. And that was almost an alien feeling to her.

Yang's eyes snapped back to Blake's.

"I-I know but... I want to. If- if you do. I've been thinking about it ever since the first time I helped you. Blake, you're all I want. I've never wanted anything like I want you." 

Yang wasn't sure what had compelled her to say all of that, but she couldn't even think of wanting to take any of it back.

"O-oh. I-" She suddenly realized that she hadn't been breathing while Yang had been talking and she had to gasp a little for air. She took a deep breath, but her voice could only come out as a whisper. "I want you too."

It had been awkward, as first times tend to be. Blake was surprised at how well she did though, in terms of dysphoria. She had expected to completely break down at the fact that she was having sex outside of heat but Yang had been so caring and considerate of her feelings and needs. It warmed her heart. 

Yang managed to come back to herself enough to start leaving sloppy kisses on Blake’s neck.

“By the Gods, I love you Blake. So much.”

She didn’t want to move; she felt so incredibly sated if not a little awkward at the fact that Blake was still inside her, now soft.

"I love you too." Blake really wanted to be able to lie there with Yang and enjoy the afterglow but she was just becoming too uncomfortable. She could feel the results of her orgasm dripping down her stupid penis and it felt awful. Another reminder that her body was wrong. She didn't want to bother Yang with her bullshit again though so she tried to ignore it, not really noticing the tears leaking out the corners of her eyes.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Yang whispered as she brought a hand up to wipe away the tears making their way down Blake’s cheeks.

Blake squirmed a little and sighed. She turned her face away as she started to speak. "I don't want to ruin the moment but it just feels really gross and I need to clean up before I start freaking out." She felt so embarrassed that she was bothered by this but it just felt wrong. Like she was wrong.

“Let me?” Yang asked, moving so Blake slipped out of her, but still made sure to keep her length out of sight, just as Blake had asked.

She bit her lip and nervously nodded, knowing that at this point with how her train of thought was she would end up having a panic attack if she tried it herself.

“Okay, just close your eyes and I’ll be done before you know it.” Yang left a sweet kiss on Blake’s forehead before getting to work at getting the two of them cleaned.

Blake screwed her eyes shut but that couldn’t stop the tears coming out of them. This was so embarrassing. Why couldn’t she have anything nice? Such a wonderful experience ruined because of her stupid dysphoria. Yang shouldn’t have to take care of her like she’s a toddler because of her own stupid brain. “I’m sorry” she let out with a sob

Yang felt her heart break at Blake’s words. Tidying up, the blonde came back to the bed and laid down beside her partner, pulling the covers up over their waists.

“No, baby no,” she crooned as she lay a hand on Blake’s cheek. “It’s really not a problem; you don’t have to be embarrassed with me. I want to help make you as comfortable with all of this as possible. I want to, I promise.”

“You shouldn’t have to take care of me like I’m a child. I hate that my own body makes me feel this way and I hate having to drag you into it.” She managed to get out between light sobs.

“I’m not taking care of you like a child,” Yang replied, her voice gentle but firm. “I’m taking care of you like a partner.”

“Is that really your responsibility though? I should be able to deal with my own stupid shit.”

“But you don’t have to deal with it alone. I’m here for you because I want to be. It has nothing to do with responsibility. I love you.”

Blake broke down again into fresh sobs. It took her a minute or two to be able to speak again. “I love you too.” She managed to choke out. “I just don’t want to be a burden.”

Yang pulled Blake into her arms, nuzzling into the faunus’s hair. 

“Never.”

Blake cried for a little while longer, letting herself enjoy being held before pushing back a little. “As much as i like lying here like this with you, we should probably get dressed before Ruby and Weiss find us like this.”

“Heh. Yeah, probably.” Yang blushed.

She managed to get herself dressed again without panicking, although she did tuck a little tighter than usual. The pain helped in a weird way, like a punishment for causing problems. Once they were dressed again Blake managed to ask something that had been on her mind really since Yang started helping her with the heat cycle. “Hey Yang? Um. W-what are we?” She blushed despite herself

Yang softened and walked up to Blake, resting her hands on the faunus’s waist.

“Well... I know what I want us to be, so I guess the real question would be if you, Blake Belladonna, will be my girlfriend?”

For some reason just hearing the word girlfriend caused her breath to catch in her throat. She wanted to say yes but she was rendered mute by her emotions and all she managed to do was nod frantically as tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes.

Letting out a rather girlish giggle, Yang gave Blake a sweet kiss and then hugged her tight. Feeling giddy, Yang picked Blake up off her feet and twirled her around, a huge beaming smile on her face.

Blake yelped in surprise as she was lifted off the ground. After the initial shock though she giggled as well and as soon as Yang set her down again she pulled her into a kiss.


End file.
